Nobody Told Me

(A Personal Cosmology)

When I was growing up
I was told many things

That have helped me to

Make my way in the world.  

I was told stories about the

Time of my birth
And of my lineage
The generations that went before me.  

I was told things about the earth

How it came to be
How nature works
Its place in the universe.

I was told about right and wrong

Love and hate
Rights and responsiblities

Life and death.  

And it has all helped me

To make my way…..  

But  

Nobody told me that my

Biological birth was only that
And that it simply created the arena
In which the birth of my Self would unfold.

Nobody told me that while the

Duration of my biological birth

Could be measured in hours

The duration of the birth of my Self

Would be measured in lifetimes.  

Nobody told me that
In birthing my Self
I would be the one giving birth

And the one being born – both.  

Nobody told me that the transition between

Each stage of my development

Childhood-Adolescence-Adulthood-Old Age

Would be a contraction
That would propel me further
Along the birth-canal of my life.  

And that the circumstances
And events of my life
Are contractions also
Each creating the next necessary push.  

Nobody told me that in order to

Birth my Self
I would have to meet myself

All of myself
My darkness and my light.  

And that the birth of my Self
Is only one side of the coin

The other side being what feels like

The death of myself.  

Nobody told me that the

Birth of my Self is essential

If humankind is to Birth its Self.

And that the birth of
The Self of humankind is essential

If all of creation is to
Birth its Self.  

Nobody told me that the

Whole of creation must wait….

And wait……
Until I eventually birth my Self.  

Nobody told me!  

Well I say nobody told me  

But  

There have been a few

Wide-eyed visionaries

Along the way

Who have whispered it.  

And that has been enough.

Pauline Emerson