by Elizabeth Murphy

So often I have asked myself if I’ve been going round in circles or following my own individual life path.  As time has gone on and as I have become more and more comfortable with myself, I am very clear about the value of all the experiences I have had and am happy to live with the choices I’ve made.

During my training in the ICCP in the 90’s, I had a clear vision of working full-time as a therapist. I was completely engaged and found my training the most exciting time of my life.  It was very challenging, very difficult at times, but I always had a sense that this was the right place for me.

Within months of finishing at the ICCP, I had a serious, personal crisis.  Some time later, I was offered and accepted a job, which took me in a whole other direction.  It was a very difficult decision to turn away from my dream and yet I did so.

After some years, I realised that this situation was no longer serving me, and I worked abroad for a time.  I ended up in Scotland and lived in the Findhorn Foundation for four months.  When I returned to Dublin in mid 2000, I began very slowly and tentatively to explore the idea of returning to the work that I had left.  I went back into personal therapy and spent a long time becoming comfortable with the choices I had made and actively embracing the life I was living.  Gradually, as I was able to enter into and claim my life in all its riches and messiness, and the decisions I had made, the regrets were healed and I could see the value of the varied experiences I have had in the last ten years.

After several attempts to get some help and information, I was fortunate enough in 2003 to encounter the Dublin Gestalt Centre and did some courses there.  I am currently doing their Intensive Course.  I love every second I spend there, and feel a tremendous sense of coming home to myself, and the work.  I now see some clients in an outside centre and have also set up a room in my house.  I am working towards accreditation and am planning within the next few weeks to cut back on my other work commitments to allow me more time to build up my practice. I can truly say that I am more in the present and present to myself than at any other time of my life.

This has been a difficult road in many ways.  There have been times when I bitterly regretted decisions I’d made, and felt quite envious of others who seemed more sure than I was.  That is no longer the case, and I realise that I truly value myself, and my gifts.  And I am profoundly grateful for the support I receive every day. .

Elizabeth Murphy is a psychotherapist in practice in Templeogue, in Dublin, and is a pre-accredited associate of IAHIP. She can be contacted at emurphy@dublin.ie”.