SIGN IN YOUR ACCOUNT TO HAVE ACCESS TO DIFFERENT FEATURES

CREATE AN ACCOUNT FORGOT YOUR PASSWORD?

FORGOT YOUR DETAILS?

AAH, WAIT, I REMEMBER NOW!

CREATE ACCOUNT

ALREADY HAVE AN ACCOUNT?

IAHIP

CALL: +353 (0)1 284 1665
  • Contact Us
  • Classifieds
    • Publications
    • Services
    • Training
    • All Ads
    • Submit Ad
  • News
    • IAHIP News
    • Blog
  • Members
    • AGM 2020 & 2019
    • Events Calendar
    • Professional Conduct
    • Continued Professional Development -CPD- For Accredited Psychotherapists
    • Accreditation
    • Re-accreditation
    • Supervision
    • Honorary Membership
    • Child and Adolescent
    • Garda Vetting
    • Resources
      • Members’ Resources
    • Payments
  • SIGN UP
  • LOGIN
  • Home
  • About
    • About IAHIP
    • Governing Body
    • Committees
      • Committees
      • Regional Development
    • Complaints
    • Constitutional Documents
      • Articles of Association
      • Bye-Laws of the Association
    • IAHIP in N.I.
    • Considering a career in psychotherapy?
  • Psychotherapy
    • About Psychotherapy
    • How Psychotherapy Can Help Me
    • Choosing a Psychotherapist
    • Useful Links
  • Join
    • Join IAHIP
    • Why Join IAHIP?
    • Benefits of Membership of IAHIP
    • Categories of Membership
    • Fees
  • Publications
    • Inside Out
    • Subscribe
    • Buy Back Issues
    • Buy Full Page Ad
    • Buy Half Page Ad
    • Advertising
  • Training
    • Online Workshops 2020 – 2021
    • Recognised Training Courses IAHIP
    • Pay for a Workshop
    • European Certificate of Psychotherapy (ECP)
  • Find a Therapist
  • Home
  • Inside Out
  • Issue 46: Summer 2005
  • Book Review: Awakening Loving-Kindness

Book Review: Awakening Loving-Kindness

Chodron Pema

Shambhala 1996, ISBN 1570622590

How to live in the now, stay where you are, not fan the flame and like yourself – just the way you are.

Andrew Weiss in his Beginning Mindfulness ( New World Library £15.99) says you can do it walking, driving, washing the dishes, turning on the television and preparing the food. His book gives you the wordspeak for any of these actions, phrases which repeated over and over will bring you into a state of Zen. Most meditation teachers, however, do recommend a quiet space.

Thich Nhat Hanh in his Blooming of the Lotus (Beacon Press £14.95) offers gathas, short poems that you repeat on the in and out-breath, an activity that gives your over active monkey mind a pole to climb while you aim for Nirvana.

But my favourite teacher on the subject is Pema Chodron, the American Tibetan Buddhist nun, whose little pocket sized text is a mind-opener on the subject. Awakening Loving Kindness (Shambhala £8.20 ISBN 1-57062-259-0) advises you to “start where you are,” which has to be a sound beginning.

Chodron reassures that you don’t have to cut yourself off from all distractions. The aim is to include the intrusion, not to be phased by it. The same time, same place every day is recommended, since it’s a habit you’re trying to form and a pattern you’re trying to break. Some people are morning sitters and others prefer evening. You just have to sit and see.

The focus with all of the experts is on the breath. We used to sit with eyes glued to a candle or lotus flower or object of beauty with our bodies rigid and our eyes fixed. The focus now is softer. The gaze is relaxed. The body should be straight but not tight. Chodron compares it to “holding the reins, not too slack, not too tight.”

The dog barking, the postman delivering, the ubiquitous mobile phone ringing (usually somebody else’s), even the curl from your incense stick ascending…all this you just note. Whatever moves or sounds- you let it be. These are nothing to the voicespeak in your head. Chodron calls this distraction “the dogs yelping” and advises you to just say -“Thinking.” The theory is that if you don’t give it your attention it will just get tired and give up. It won’t go away altogether warns Chodron but it will become a lot less demanding. She suggests that you might imagine that you are “touching these thoughts very lightly, like a feather touching a bubble. Let the whole thing be soft and gentle but at the same time precise.” Gentleness is a major player in Chodron’s vocabulary. The tone of voice in which you say “thinking “ is a critical giveaway to your level of Bodhichitta or open-heart. The aim is not to beat yourself up but to gently, firmly bring yourself into the now. Only 25% of the attention goes on the out-breath which is a far cry from meditation practice of yore.

Feelings will come up, says Chodron, but again you simply notice them. You may ask where in the body you feel them. The continued gentle focus on the breath opens the body, relaxes the chest and softens the gnarled belly. The feelings won’t disappear either, according to Chodron, but ”you don’t fan the flames either” with your habitual storyline on every event.

The aim is to get to know yourself better, to recognize when you are spinning out the story, escalating the suffering. Meditation teaches you to drop the script. Chodron does not advocate repression either. ”I’m talking about realizing hurricaneness, or,  if it’s a calm day, calmness. I’m saying that when there’s a forest fire don’t resist that power…that’s you.” She also asks you not to act it out either.

Reading Chodron I am reminded that meditation is not necessarily about trance or transcendence. It’s about developing compassion and getting to like myself “just the way I am.” Move over Bridget Jones. Who needs D’Arcy anyway?

Cathy Leonard is a trained teacher and homeopath, working in Lifechanges in Blackrock. Her passion is writing and my aspiration is to meditate with ease.

Search Inside Out

Latest from the Blog

Latest News

  • Spanda India in Association with Ochre Ireland – Online 2021
  • Pieta House – Psychotherapists / Counselling Psychologists (Lucan)

Upcoming Events

Contact Us

The Administrator,
The Irish Association of Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy Ltd.
40 Northumberland Avenue,
Dun Laoghaire,
Co. Dublin

Telephone: +353 (0)1 284 1665
Email: admin@iahip.org

Office Hours

9.30am – 4.00pm Monday
9.30am – 5.00pm Tuesday to Friday

Telephone Line Answered
Monday – Friday 9.30am – 1.00pm.

Disclaimer

IAHIP Ltd. cannot be held liable for the services, products or information contained in ads posted on this website.

FIND A THERAPIST

Search in radius 0 miles
  • Contact Details
  • Privacy Statement
  • Code of Ethics for Psychotherapists
  • Company Registration

© 2018 All rights reserved.

TOP
This website uses cookies to enhance your browsing experience. Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.